Family Pastimes fosters caring communities and economies

Co-operative games have been around for decades. It's time parents, teachers and family therapists spread the word about the benefits of games that foster co-operation rather than competition.

Photo: Sleeping Grump Credit: Family Pastimes website

I was riveted to my screen watching Luke Mistruzzi and Simon Brothers’ brilliant documentary, A Silent Transformation. I mean, who knew that Gay Lea Foods was a co-operative? Or, that co-ops are twice as likely to survive when compared with capitalist driven businesses.

The pair chronicle the amazing array of co-operative ventures that exist across Ontario including Family Pastimes producers of co-operative games for children, youth and adults.

When Family Pastimes co-founder, Jim Deacove, appeared on screen I was immediately catapulted back almost three decades to a time when I bought Deacove’s amazing co-operative games for my own children.

We started with Harvest Time. Then, Round-up, Sandcastles, Snow Storm for snow days. But the real gem was Sleeping Grump!

My kids now tell me how much they loved those games not only because you had to work together to solve a precarious situation, but because no one else they knew had these games so their friends were excited to have something new to play.

Make no mistake, I was routinely chastised for not teaching my kids to be competitive because apparently, “they were going to have to fight and claw their way to the ‘top,’ once they were launched into the ‘real world.’”

Okay, so in my mind I was going to be part of a movement to change Canada’s corporate fascist capitalistic fiefdom – or, at least my little corner of it -- into a socialist utopia based on a diverse, intellectual, caring economy where gender equity flourished. Eventually, that would become widely known as doughnut economics. But that’s a story for another time and article.

Instead, I bought more of Jim and Ruth Deacove’s games quietly indoctrinating the next generation to subvert the neoliberal political system while undermining a misogynous patriarchal culture without the kids, or the adults in their lives, knowing it.

Jim and Ruth Deacove are partners in life and work. They came up with the idea of making co-operative games – as opposed to non-competitive games which has a negative vibe – after watching their own, and other, children playing games like hide-and-seek and Monopoly. These competitive games pit kids against each other creating conflict and often encouraging cheating in order to beat one another.

Ultimately, older siblings or those with more experience and co-ordination usually win. Conversely, it encourages parents to dumb down their skills and abilities to avoid crushing their opponents’ self-esteem and motivation. That hardly encourages children, or even adults, to want to play games together.

As a teacher, Deacove saw that while competition is an effective tool for classroom management and realizing short-term academic goals, it doesn’t foster understanding, compassion, empathy and co-operation.

So, when the Deacove family was unable to find a single co-operative board game, they decided to create their own.

 “My working definition of co-operative game is simple. Never have people being against people in any of my games,” Deacove shared with Small Change via email.

It was often pointed out to Deacove that team sports like hockey and soccer are co-operative to which he answered, “Truth be told, I get more excited, uplifted and inspired by a Mennonite barn raising than I do a sporting event.”

Deacove doesn’t consider competitive sport an example of co-operation. While a group of individuals may co-operate for a set goal, they do so in order to obliterate the opposing group. That makes it impossible, in Deacove’s mind, to separate the goal from the means used to achieve it.

Deacove maintains, “We can extend this and point out that even fighting a war requires a form of co-operation. The ultimate ‘game’ for altogether too many people!”

With no intention of ever making games for a living, Deacove pitched his ideas to several big players eventually deciding to make the games himself. And, that’s when Deacove ordered, and built, a prefabricated cottage in his backyard establishing Family Pastimes as the ultimate cottage industry.

But what happens to co-operative board games when technology infiltrates every aspect of life? Let’s face it, things have changed since the 1990s when my kids were young. Some infants have access to devices from the day they are born and often kids, and youth, become so addicted to violent video games that it consumes all of their time.

Deacove has created video versions of some of games like Harvest Time, Max the Cat and Mountaineering. While his games will not entice those who want to draw blood, they will challenge those who want to change pathways to make friends instead of enemies.

Deacove’s games are also available in Europe where families still get together for meals and game playing — more so than in North America. Family Pastimes’ games are very popular there because Deacove’s games involve a lot of nature, as opposed to car jackings and wars. His games also address pressing issues like preserving nature — Beautiful Place, Let’s Go Hiking — and climate change — Climate Change, Somewhere Everywhere Water Rising.

What amazes and delights Deacove is that his games are now used by family therapists who recognize the benefits of the mental health aspects of co-operative games for children damaged by our competitive society.

Deacove’s games are still hand-made in the same cottage behind his home from cardboard and waterproof papers. And, they’re still visually and artistically attractive and appealing. Prices range from a low of $12 and max out at $30. Customers, including classroom teachers, can even purchase replacement parts!

Deacove has enjoyed playing other co-operative games coming on stream, but finds that they are couched in competitive language where players either win all or lose all.

“My games are not still in the win/lose paradigm. My games are, instead, a matter of measuring the degree of achievement. You may not harvest all of your carrots before winter comes, but that doesn’t mean the team of players are characterized as losers. Celebrate what you did harvest and make plans and create new strategies for the next exciting season.”

New games include Peace in Our Time, Earth Game, Good Ship Freedom and New America — about technocracy. Deacove is also inspired by the number of people purchasing games for older adults that include themes like ‘mystery enjoyment,’ ‘strategic challenges’ and ‘for thinking about.’

Order online from a veritable buffet of co-operative games for all ages including a small selection available in French. Educators get a discount! And, anyone organizing a school or group fundraiser would be wise to consider these games rather than those tired, overly sweet chocolate bars and almonds.

Family Pastimes says it hasn’t changed prices in the past six years. However, I would argue it’s been much longer than that because I paid $15 per game when my kids were small and I just bought the same collection for the exact same price to give to a friend of our family who is expecting her first child.

Fifty years on, Deacove believes that, “Competition is ruining our planet as humans fight one another for practically everything. We need to learn how to share and collaborate to solve problems as well as enjoy each other’s company. We need more experiences of sharing and caring. We have more than enough of the other experiences of killing, maiming and destroying, which is the basis of most games.”

I have to agree with Jim Deacove, it’s time we all start co-operating with each other. Especially, in our family and community time.

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Order Family Pastimes’ life-affirming games here.