It's Not Just A Woman's Issue
After surviving, volunteering and working to end violence against women, I took for granted that what I had experienced and learned was common knowledge. Turns out I was wrong.
Gendered violence, intimate partner violence, femicide and non-State torture -- It’s Not Just a Woman’s Issue.
I wish I could lay claim to suggesting this spot-on headline for the November 2016 edition of The Anvil newspaper, but alas it was the brilliant founder, editor and my colleague, Brandon Braithwaite.
I joined The Anvil after reading its first publication in the winter of 2016. My inaugural article about food banks was included in the April 2016 edition that focused on food security.
The Anvil was a quarterly paper that addressed one issue per edition including as many lenses, insights and opinions as possible. It was an analysis of the topics that dominated Hamilton’s discourse. But we reached far beyond those boundaries including voices from across the country and around the world.
Over the years, Anvil team members came and went. But Brandon remained the anchor that kept us centered and moving forward — until the COVID pandemic hit.
By the time things were opening up again, many of our advertisers had gone out of business while others had turned to online advertising – and that is a death sentence for any independent publication that is distributed at no cost to readers.
But I digress.
In November 2016, It’s Not Just A Woman’s Issue was published. Earlier that summer, the team sat around a board room table pitching ideas for the fall issue.
I thought Woman Abuse Prevention Month would be perfect for the November launch. I pleaded my case to a room full of folk who were well informed and engaged in human rights and social justice issues.
After surviving, volunteering and working in the violence against women field for over a dozen years, I took for granted that what I experienced and knew was common knowledge. Turns out I was wrong. And, that desire by team members to inform themselves and Anvil readers became the impetus for It’s Not Just A Woman’s Issue.
Brandon made me guest editor-in-chief and the team set about finding the best voices including women with the knowledge and insight of lived experience, experts, and those working in the field.
The paper we created was truly amazing. So much so, that Zonta of Hamilton awarded Brandon and me the 2017 Zonta Says No Award for our efforts to combat violence against women.
I was the first woman to every get this award. That’s because it’s reserved for men – to encourage them to act to end violence against women. However, Brandon refused to accept the award unless I was recognized for my contributions. Brandon is what a true ally looks like.
I’m attaching a PDF copy of the It’s Not Just a Women’s Issue for you to look through at your leisure, but thought that I’d suggest a few impactful articles to get you started.
Let’s begin with my editor’s note:
I’m a chef, teacher, writer, mother of two sons and three daughters, and the survivor of an abusive marriage. At the time, I had no idea that I was an abused woman. Abuse takes many forms: financial, psychological or emotional, physical, sexual, verbal, cyber bullying, stalking, social isolation, spiritual, environmental (harming pets, punching walls, driving too fast), manipulating or harming children, and using social status or wealth. Abusive men use these methods to maintain power and control.
One in three women will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime. Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16. A woman is assaulted an average of 35 times before she calls the police the first time. It takes seven attempts before she leaves for good. Her chances of being murdered increase nine-fold once she leaves. Every six days a Canadian woman is murdered by her current or former partner.
These numbers increase significantly for women experiencing multiple oppressions including identifying as being a woman of colour, an immigrant, Indigenous, or having disabilities. Life circumstances that make it impossible to leave include no room at the women’s shelter, no job or reliable income, a lack of affordable housing and childcare, or death threats.
But, when I read the thoughtful, impactful and informative articles in November’s Anvil, I’m filled with hope. Within these pages I see opportunities for our community to come together to support women and their children. There are also opportunities to create a society where men and boys respect women and girls and treat them as equals.
Thank you to the contributing authors for your time, dedication and the invaluable work you do. I’m also grateful for the opportunity to be Guest Editor of Care for this edition of the Anvil. Agencies, services, public policy, laws, and yes, even papers are much better when they are survivor informed. Woman Abuse Prevention Month: It’s Not A Woman’s Issue is dedicated to the women, and their children, who lost their lives to gendered violence in 2016.
The team also dedicated the issue to women everywhere, and their continuing struggles in a patriarchal society that refuses to learn. The Staff of the Anvil believes the change is coming.
And, they really did believe that change would be partially realized by 2023. Sadly, we are in the midst of a femicide pandemic and women in many countries are seeing their advancements stalled and even reversed.
While I truly believe every article in this edition is absolutely worth your time, I’d like to suggest a few that should not be missed.
We chose the cover art and the placement of each article carefully.
Lee McIlmoyle created the cover art which I chose over others because it showed a strong woman during various stages of life — despite her changing eye colour.
We chose Tracee Lee-Holloway’s article, Just What Does a Victim of Spousal Abuse Look Like? In Four Words: She Looks Like Me, because it was important to give the first word to a survivor.
“He said he’d never let me leave him. He loved me too much to ever let go. If I were to leave him, he assured me it would be the last thing I’d ever do. He’d rather see me dead, than to have to live without me. . .” — Tracee Lee-Holloway.
Tracee-Lee’s article was also important in that it spoke the truth; offered sound, practical and safe advice; and ended with healing and hope.
You can find Tracee’s article on page 3.
David Suzuki’s contribution, Confronting The Crisis of Violence Against Indigenous Women And Girls in Canada includes a substantial list of sites to access for more information and can be found on page 4.
Kristine Viljasoo addresses the cumulative effects vicarious trauma has on folk who work with gendered violence survivors. Viljasoo calls trauma work and vicarious trauma, transcendent. She believes it unites people in their growth making them more resilient, appreciative and committed to their work. This insightful look at the folk who work with women living with, leaving, and recovering from gendered violence and femicide is on page 5.
Page 6 introduces readers to Amy Borkwood, Shelter Worker at Inasmuch House. Amy tells you a bit about the 2016 housing crisis in Hamilton and how that impedes a woman’s ability to leave and stay out of an abusive relationship.
Needless to say, seven years later, the housing crisis is exponentially worse making it harder for women to leave and stay out of abusive relationships especially when children are involved.
Dr. Mohit Bhandari and his team of researchers at McMaster University have been working to improve the lives of women being treated at orthopaedic fracture clinics.
Their project was designed and implemented after Dr. Bhandari connected with the Minneapolis Domestic Abuse Project. That’s when Dr. Bhandari realized that doctors treating fractures very often fail to ask a very basic question, “how did this happen?”
After reviewing the injuries of 260 women seeking care, Dr. Bhandari found orthopaedic injuries were the second most common physical manifestation of IPV. Read more on page 13.
Writer and professor of cultural studies and communications, Latham Hunter wrote an intriguing piece on rape culture and raising sons in the age of internet porn. You’ll find this riveting piece on page 16.
Long time feminist advocate, writer and social worker, Thelma A. McGillivray looks at sex re-education and asks, Will Changes in Education and Law Eliminate Sexual Violence and Harassment Against Children and Women? Find the answer on page 20.
Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioural Neurosciences at McMaster, Dr. Jean Clinton looks at the impacts IPV has on children. She also addresses what society can do to support our most vulnerable citizens on page 21.
Please make the time to read James Boweck’s article on page 26, I am a Man. Why Don’t I Feel Privileged?
When Brandon and I met with James at a local coffee shop to discuss his article I was a little taken aback. That is, until I read his article through to the end. That’s when I got his message that society tells men they need to be strong and tough. That, James says, has caused many men to lose touch with their inner selves. James argues, male privilege leaves men unable to deal with feelings like powerlessness and shame.
Diana Tikasz, MSW, RSW and Coordinator of the Sexual Assault Domestic Violence Care Centre at Hamilton Health Sciences, helps readers understand the brain under trauma and why victims of violence often engage in behaviour that seems counter intuitive — think Jian Ghomeshi and the women he abused who continued to interact with him. You’ll find this insightful piece on page 30.
Page 31 provides an extensive list of documentaries, movies, plays and books that look at violence against women and femicide as well as empowering women and girls.
Here’s the link to It’s Not Just A Woman’s Issue. Unfortunately, it’s as important and relevant today as it was seven years ago. Let’s hope the change is coming soon.